Sounds like this maybe easier to fix than you think. If your pump is already that large, maybe all you have to do is turn up the pressure switch. If you are running on 40/60 now, I would turn it up to 50/70 and see how that works. You may have to put on a more heavy duty pressure switch to go any higher, but you can turn up the well pump to 60/80 or even 100/120 if needed and the pump will do that much pressure.
Having gone through so many tanks already tells me the pump is cycling on/off too much, which is what destroys the tank diaphragms.
Even with a 60/80 pressure switch setting, sometimes you are at 80 and other times only 60 PSI. This is where the CSV can make the shower pressure seem much stronger, by holding the system at a constant 75 PSI, instead of continually cycling between 60 and 80.
You own your own well system. No reason to put up with low pressure. You can make your own pressure better than any city water system of five star hotel. You just have to make it happen.
Try turning up the pressure switch by tightening on the large adjustment screw about three full turns to the right. Don't mess with the little adjustment screw. Once you figure out how high you can turn it up and the pump still be able to build to that pressure and shut off, then adding a CSV will hold the pressure constant and make it even stronger still.
If you have any info on the well or pump, it would help with sizing the CSV that you need?