If you can't get a hose open enough to keep the pressure at 68, yes 68 without the pump shutting off, then the CSV is set too high (too far to the right / clockwise). The tank has the 2.2, so it is good, and your pressure switch is 50/70 also good.
Now while running 3 GPM somewhere after the CSV, adjust the CSV to hold a constant 58 PSI. So then it should hold 58 constant for a shower, and 48 constant if are using the full 20 GPM your pump can produce. And yes the adjustment bolt doesn't need much as 1 full turn is 14 PSI change.
If you want 68 PSI while running the heat pump and a shower at the same time, you will have to adjust the CSV to hold about 75 PSI at 3 GPM flow. To set the CSV at 75, the pressure switch will need to be turned up first to about 65/85. With the pressure switch at 65/85 the cap on the PRV valve will need to be removed and tighten the adjustment so the pressure relief doesn't leak, and the tank will need about 60 PSI air. The higher the pressure switch setting, the less water the tank holds, but you should still get close to 1 minute of run time after turning off all the faucets.
A lot of the last stuff you posted doesn't make sense to me, especially why the house is 20 PSI when the CSV is at 40?